Graduation

Last weekend I attended my oldest niece's high school graduation. In two weeks I attend my 20 year high school graduation reunion.

When did all this happen? It sounds so cliche to say, but where did time go? It's true what they say you know, it happens before you notice.

One day you're holding your 6-year-old niece in your arms and she is wiping the strawberry Lip Smacker from your mouth with her tiny fingers to apply it to her own lips. The next day, you're wondering when did she grow breasts and why is she wearing French manicured finger nails?

At her open-house graduation party, as I fed my 20-month-old grapes from my plate, I eavesdropped on her friends. Not that 18-year-olds have enough deep insight to hold anyone's attention for very long, they were a little more interesting than the game of repeating "yes, grape" while my daughter said "gape". They said they were free and it hasn't sunk in that they won't go to high school anymore. Maybe I looked for myself in their circle. Was I really ever that wide-eyed and optimistic? I was probably just as naive in thinking that life just got easier. I was free to do what I wanted and didn't have to answer to anyone.

As I said my goodbyes, holding my baby and hugging my niece, the generational tug and the maternal instinct took over. I told her that in a few weeks I was going to my high school graduation. Her eyes grew wide and quizzical as she jetted her jaw forward. As if she had a hard time believing I went to high school at all and that I perhaps felt the same way she felt right then.

"Wow," she said.

"Hard to believe, I know. Look at 20 years gone by," I said.

As she looked me over, I thought don't look at the wrinkles, or the baby on my hip, or my freshly dyed hair to cover the gray. Remember everything you always knew about your cool Auntie Lori who went to college. Remember when I went to Europe. Remember when I lived in New York. Remember when you visited me in the cities and we went to Valleyfair. Remember our talk and my advice about college life. She smiled and I believed that somehow she knew what I meant.

In just a few weeks, I'll be discussing my life so far over cocktails (more like beer; I'm from a small town!) with my classmates. I will ask if they remember how they felt on graduation day. Will there be a bit of that optimism left or will it have turn to humorous sarcasm, as it has in my case.

Nevertheless, I would not change a minute of the last 20 years. Well, maybe I would realize sooner how quickly it goes by.