Thursday, January 28, 2010

What's Next...

When I quit my corporate job 5 years ago to stay at home with my daughter (and despite 3 years of freelance after that) I said I was “retired”. And I meant it. Specifically, I have retired from advertising and marketing.

So here I sit, blissfully unemployed and careerless and wondering what my next move is. I’m not in a hurry mind you (because I still have another baby at home) but attending Kindergarten registration this week got me thinking about what is next for me. I am and will always be a Mom (and a stay-at-home one for a couple more years), but eventually, I think it’s my duty to bring some cash into this house instead of spending it. I want to save for retirement (again), save for college tuition, and take family vacations. Buy a car built in 2000-something. Paint my living room. You get my point.

Recently, I had a short-lived income source – a seasonal, temporary gig as a cashier at Target. While I didn’t mind the brain-numbing work, I did mind the longs hours of standing and worse, working every Saturday and Sunday every single weekend. I quit my full-time corporate job to stay home and build a family yet I was leaving them every weekend. I craved family time with Mommy, Daddy and Kids. This was especially hard when my baby was sick. I went to work and fought to keep back the tears. A baby needs his mommy, especially when he’s sick. Besides, I worked really hard to finish college and endure the corporate world to avoid jobs like this.

Right now, at the top of the list is teaching. I’ve gathered information and talked to admissions at Hamline University about a Master of Arts in Teaching degree. Since I’ve already been a graduate student there, I have nothing but admiration for this school; so naturally, this is the place I’ll choose if I pursue this idea. I believe many of my existing graduate school credits would transfer to this new program; specifically because the area of teaching I’m considering is literature and writing. One roadblock is securing two letters of recommendations. I have simply been out of touch too long to have anyone rise to the top that I can ask. Nonetheless, if and when I do this, I should start soon so I can be nearly finished by the time my youngest starts kindergarten – which, by the way, is the unspoken agreement I have with myself (and my husband) of when I would return to work.

But the prospect of teaching makes me nervous. What if I don’t get a job? The job market in my chosen field is not great. And what if after all the school, time, and money, I suck at teaching!? What if the kids hate me and the parents and faculty doubt my ability? Furthermore, I’ve never been very good at dealing with bureaucracy and I can’t think of any place that would have more red tape, rules and “guidelines” than the education system.

Some days I’m completely ready to dive into this teaching thing, but other days the choice isn’t as clear.

Teaching isn’t something I plucked out of the air. It’s always been there – sitting in the back of my mind. Midway through my freshman year, I declared an Education major, but was distracted and changed to Communications my junior year. Years later, while working on an MFA in Creative Writing, it was a given that I would simply teach as an income source while working on my writing.

Two kids, a move to the suburbs, and kindergarten registration have made me realize the quick passage of time. Truth be told, I don’t think I have it in me to finish my MFA in Creative Writing and really, I don’t think I have the luxury of working toward a degree like that, one that has less promise of a job than a teaching degree.

I always knew I had to do something else. But what? I’m open to suggestions…